And if you all want to join, by all means, go for it! I'm still trying to get the number of people up.

It's a music-sharing community. I know, there are like a million and one out there, but I have SO much music I figured I'd make my own community. Anyone can post in it or request, though.


musical_snack ---> Join!

Since I have yet to write about it... (forewarning: it's kinda long)

( My Mexican Trip... )






My birthday was on Monday. It sucked. It was almost spent in the ER because of my stupid body. But I got lucky and got in to see my doctor that night. I haven't had a period in almost a year and a half. And I know, everyone's like "oh my gosh, how'd you get so lucky?!". But it's not luck; it's hell. I've been having this horrendous cramps in my abdomen and lower back. I've just been miserable. And I'm always so tired lately; like I don't want to do ANYTHING. So my doctor told me that I have the symptoms of PCO (Polycistic Ovaries). I knew I had the symptoms when I looked it up after my mom told me that that's what she thought I had, but hearing the concern in my doctor's voice really upset me. He gave me some medication for the cramping, but it's not really helping. I have an appointment set up with an ob-gyn but I have to wait until June 5th. I would never wish this pain on anyone. That's how bad it hurts. But hopefully they'll find out if PCO is really what I have so that I can start being treated for it.

Today wasn't a good day either. I spent the most part of it at Middletown Hospital in the ER for my mom. She was in a lot of pain and apparently (I just found this out today) the Lupus has started to attack her kidney. For those of you who don't know, she only has one kidney. She was born that way. That really scares me. I mean, I don't think you can fully understand how much pain your parent is in until you actually see them in it. It was hard. I hate hospitals but I stayed with her. It was like she was trying to hide the fact that her kidney is in bad shape. I just really hope that they can fix this. I don't ever pray to God that much, but lately I have been doing that a lot. I'm really scared. Really.


Right now life sucks. I hate saying that. Like, when I was away in Mexico I had the time of my life. I got to forget about everything at home and I was fine. Then I come back and my body decides to start attacking me yet again, and my mom is doing not so well (but she's doing better now). I just feel overwhelmed. It's like I can never be truly happy. I honestly feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. And that can't be good. Sigh.





And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along
Just to make it through.